


in some sad way i already know

by amurderofmagpies



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Episode: s02e15 Revelations, Everything Hurts, Gen, Probably ooc, not quite angst but definitely not fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:56:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amurderofmagpies/pseuds/amurderofmagpies
Summary: Set shortly after the events of “Revelations”. JJ feels guilty and goes to talk to Reid. They don’t so much work through what happened as much as they simply process the trauma.(Could be read as ship, but was written as platonic.)
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau & Spencer Reid
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	in some sad way i already know

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit dude this episode hurt me. It’s been like a few weeks since I’ve watched it but damn, it stuck around. Anyways, I really like JJ and Reid’s friendship and felt like they deserved a leaning-on-each-other-for-support type scene.
> 
> Also, yes, I realize the irony in giving a platonic fic a lyric from “Like Real People Do” for a title.

It was 2:04 am when JJ gave in to the all consuming guilt and quietly tapped on Reid's hotel room door. She hoped with every fiber of her being that he was already asleep— God knows he needed it. But who sleeps after a thing like that? Certainly not Dr. Spencer "I-have-an-eidetic-memory" Reid. It was unlikely that Reid would have been blessed with any sort of trauma induced amnesia, either. He remembered everything. Always.

He answered the door a few moments after her nearly inaudible knock. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of worn out sweat pants, and his hair was still a bit dark from the shower he took hours ago. She could see the bruises and pinpricks on his arm.

"Can we talk?" JJ asked in a small voice.

"Sure." His voice was hoarse with more than exhaustion. His pained screams echoed in her mind as she padded into the room. He gestured to the rumpled queen bed for her to sit, so she did.

"I... I am so sorry." She said.

"It wasn't your fault, JJ." He replied quietly. He winced with every limping step he took.

"It was," She had averted her gaze and was staring hard at the floor, fingers twisting at the hem of her shirt, "I suggested we split up, I didn't get to you in time, I—"

Reid interrupted firmly, "Don't do that to yourself."

"It's true." She pressed on, "I couldn't— I wasn't a good teammate and you almost—" She choked on her words.

"JJ..." He said softly.

She drew in a shaky breath and tried again, "You almost..." She couldn't bring herself to say it. Not when it did happen, if only for a few moments. It was a risk all of them took showing up to work each day, but this... This had been different. All of them were at peace with the fact there was a high possibility they could be shot or stabbed or otherwise maimed on the job. Being kidnapped and tortured by the suspect, however, was not high on the list of probabilities. But it happened. And that hypothetical scenario of one of them dying on the job and come so very, very close to being a reality—

"Please don't cry." Spencer's voice cracked.

That's when JJ realized that hot tears were streaming down her cheeks. She finally looked up from the hotel carpet to her friends face. His eyes had welled up with tears of his own. She couldn't stop the half sob that escaped her at the sight.

"Please don't cry, JJ." He repeated. His voice was shaking.

She wiped roughly at her eyes with the backs of her hands, but she couldn't stop the tears. She sobbed again into her hand and before she knew it Spencer was on the bed next to her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. The embrace was awkward, her arms were trapped between them and they both had to twist to face each other, but she leaned hard into him. 

It was the telltale shaky breath he took that broke her for good. She knew that breath. The one you took not for air, but for strength. To will yourself to be strong while your emotions threatened to burst out of your chest. The team often teased Reid for his lack of emotion, going as far to joke about him being a robot, but none of it was true in the slightest. He cared so much about all of them, to the point that even though he was the one that had been clinically dead for a few moments that day, he was trying to be strong for her. 

She managed to untuck her arms and return the embrace, crushing him to her. She pressed her face into his shoulder and sobbed muffledly. He kept taking shaky breaths as he rubbed her back and pressed his cheek against the top of her head.

"Please don't cry, JJ," Despite his efforts, he was crying himself.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into the fabric of his t-shirt.

"It's not your fault." He whispered back, his voice now raw with emotion too.

She noticed too late the patch of wet that now covered the space between his collar and his shoulder. Not that he seemed to care. They stayed that way for a while, just holding each other and crying softly. Reveling in the fact that even though both of them were damaged, they were still very much alive.

Sometimes, that's all you can do. Just keep breathing. 

And when their breaths finally evened out and their eyes finally dried, JJ carefully pulled back from the embrace. Spencer's eyes were red and puffy, like hers probably were. She gently pulled him close enough to press a kiss into his forehead and hug him again. 

"Please stay." He croaked when she pulled back for a second time.

"Of course, Spence." She said.

Once he had calmed down a bit more, Spencer got them both wet wash cloths to wipe their faces with. It got the sticky feeling of the tear tracks off and helped with the sinus inflammation, though they are both too exhausted to stay awake long enough for the headache to come. 

When they finally went to sleep, laying next to each other under the scratchy hotel comforter, it was 3:17 am.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to try and actually post more of my work on here. It makes me nervous to share this stuff but I do one someone to actually read them eventually. But if I only post what I’m super proud of, I’ll never post anything, so here’s this! I hope you enjoyed it, or at least felt some catharsis from it.


End file.
